Allyson Whipple

Tag: adulting

  • 9 Intentions for 39

    I had a fantastic birthday week. We had a family birthday/Easter dinner out at the farm, I got to spend lots of time outside, got plenty of good snuggles with Astrid, and then John made spaghetti carbonara, which is one of my most favorite foods. I’ve also had plenty of time to think about what I want to deliberately nourish and cultivate in the next year of my life. Here are my intentions.

    1. Keep the kitchen table clean. I’ve struggled with clutter my entire life. It’s probably genetic. (If you’ve ever seen my dad’s office or car, you can’t help but think there’s something innate in my DNA.) Honestly, most of the time, it doesn’t bother me. But clutter on the kitchen table drives me bonkers . . . and yet, whenever I clean it, the pile is back within a week. Lately, between the work we’re doing on the house and how stressed I’ve been in my professional life, it’s even worse than usual. This is the year that changes.

    2. Maintain a consistent budget. You’ve heard of yo-yo dieting . . . my unhelpful habit is actually yo-yo budgeting. But as I approach midlife, get serious about self-employment, and now have a mortgage on top of my still-unpaid student debt, it’s time to get serious. There are a lot of structural problems of life under capitalism that I cannot change, but what I can do is do my best to work with what I have. To do that, I actually need to budget.

    3. Fall in love with cooking again. I love food, and before COVID, I enjoyed cooking. Then, months of having to eat at home (plus constant supply chain issues) meant cooking began to feel more like a chore. And when I moved to St. Louis and went back to working in an office, cooking began to feel even more like an obligation I resented. But I have a fantastic cookbook collection (which I couldn’t resist adding to this weekend), and I hate seeing all those fun books sitting in my kitchen unused. I want to find a way to recapture the enjoyment of preparing food.

    4. Practice Pilates without an end goal. I’d only been a Pilates student for about 18 months when I ended up on the teacher training path. I’m grateful that I have been able to complete a comprehensive training. It’s also true that half of my life as a practitioner has been spent working toward this goal. I am excited to be able to simply practice, explore, and learn on my own terms.

    5. Get back to inbox zero. I used to be the kind of person who could zero out their inboxes every day. And that felt great. For whatever reason, I haven’t been able to keep up the habit, but looking at an inbox with over 100 messages just brings me down. So I want to bring myself to a decluttered inbox again.

    6. Fold my clean laundry within 24 hours. I haven’t been keeping up with this task, which is wild to me, because honestly, I kind of like folding laundry. Just put on a podcast and go! I don’t love an overflowing laundry basket any more than I love an overflowing inbox. So it’s time to queue up those podcasts and make time on Monday nights!

    7. Resume carrying a notebook everywhere. My big move and career change depleted my creativity. Yesterday was the first time in over two months that I’d written haiku. Because my creativity has been stagnant, I’ve gotten out of the habit of carrying a notebook with me to catch ideas. But that’s not helping my creativity, either! So the time has come to remind myself to be open to poetry.

    8. Go through that backlog of old notebooks. This has been on my to-do list for . . . way too long. I don’t want to toss out good material, but I’m tired of a thick stack of notebooks taking up space on my desk. I don’t think I’ll feel fully settled into my life in St. Louis until I go through all the writing from my past life, keep the good stuff, and let go of the work that doesn’t have spark.

    9. Rest. Working full-time and building up my self-employment means that many of my waking hours are accounted for. I’m definitely one of those people who stays up too late because I’m trying to maximize my free time and actually pursue my hobbies or spend time with John and Astrid. But sleep and general rest are essential for wellbeing, and this year, I’m making space for that.

    This new year of life is off to an exciting start! John and I have spent a lot of time working on getting my home studio together. I can’t wait to reveal the finished work later this year! I have a lot of projects and ambitions on the horizon, and I can’t wait to see what happens between now and the time I reach 40.

  • 9 Things I’m Leaving Behind for 39

    This month, I’m taking a break from my home equipment series to reflect on my next trip around the sun. Next week, I turn 39, and with my goal of becoming fully self-employed when I’m 40, I have a great deal to think about in terms of how I focus my attention over the next 52 weeks of my life. In this post, I’m talking about what I want to let go of. In two weeks, I’ll talk about what I want to cultivate. (And then I’ll return to the home equipment series!)

    1. Other people’s beliefs about the best way to eat. As someone who spent many years in the dance world, I developed a complicated relationship with food. I first became conscious of this when I was 12 years old. While I never developed a full-blown eating disorder, I fell prey to diet culture. When I tried to reverse that, and follow nutritionists and dietitians, things didn’t really improve. While it’s good that I’m not trying to eat as little as possible, custom macro calculations and rules about always eating breakfast at a certain time (or even always eating breakfast) ultimately didn’t help me eat intuitively or develop a better relationship with food. It just took the neuroticism in a new direction. No more eating breakfast at 7:00 am (before I’m even hungry) because I “should.” I’m an adult who knows how to recognize her hunger signals. (I get hangry. I can’t ignore them.) Nutrition is complex and everyone’s needs are different. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. I don’t have any medical conditions that would require a special diet. So this is the year I give up relying on advice I don’t need.

    2. Ostensibly good habits that make me miserable. I’m not talking about life maintenance things that need to be done no matter what (like paying taxes, flossing your teeth, or cleaning the toilet). I’m talking about things that productivity or lifestyle experts say that you should do in order to be your best self. Examples include making your bed every morning, meal prep, or journaling. If you do any of these things and they make your life better, rock on! Keep doing them! But if a supposedly good habit doesn’t actually bring value to your life, then let it go. Back in January, I wrote about how I didn’t like doing meal prep, but kept with the habit because it made mornings easier. Well, as it turns out, it was making my Sundays miserable. It wasn’t really adding value to my life in a meaningful way. So I’m letting that go. (Expect a more detailed post about that after I finish the home equipment series.)

    3. Clothes that no longer work for me. Whether it’s because they no longer fit or they’re just not my style, keeping clothes that don’t work is a waste of space. What can be donated will get donated. The rest? It doesn’t have to go in the trash. Sturdy fabric will become scraps for future quilts. The rest will become rags for cleaning or for oiling wood furniture. Maybe it’s no longer wearable, but it can still be useful.

    4. Inactive internet accounts. Last month, I kept getting notifications that someone was trying to access a stale account of mine. While going through them (and remembering ancient passwords) will be a challenge, I think it will be worth going through and decluttering that area of my life. After all, stale accounts are especially vulnerable to hackers.

    5. Avoidance as a coping strategy. This one is going to take work. A lot of work. After all, I’ve been using this tactic for at least 20 of my 39 years on this planet. Undoing it will take time. As I’ve taken steps to build my business, I see over and over again how I avoid what is stressful, scary, or confusing . . . and how that’s holding me back. If I really want to be self-employed by 40, I need to practice facing things head-on.

    6. Overcommitting myself. This one is also going to require a lot of work on my part. So much work. Getting too busy is probably my worst character trait. And though I have made some progress with this issue over the years, I’m not where I want to be. Time to double down.

    7. Making professional commitments on Sundays. Building a business while working full time means it’s tempting to work through the weekend. After all, during the standard workweek, my time to focus on the business is limited. However, I know I need at least one full day off a week. Sunday is a day when John and I like to go out to breakfast and, if the weather is good, go for a hike. It’s been our quality time day for much of our relationship. In this next year of my life, I need to take care to protect that.

    8. Clipped recipes I’m clearly never going to make. I’m taking things ripped out of pre-pandemic Bon Appetit issues. If they’ve been sitting in my “To Make” folder for more than a year, it’s time to let them go.

    9. Unhealthy interpersonal dynamics. This doesn’t mean cutting people out of my life. Yes, sometimes, we end up in a situation where that’s the best option. But I don’t love the oversimplified advice to “cut toxic people out of your life,” because it overlooks the nuance of relationships with challenging dynamics. I find that most people aren’t inherently toxic; they have unhelpful habits, which can be unlearned. So my goal is to work on my own tendencies, and address how to improve relationships that are worth saving.

    Learning to let go of things is always a process, so I don’t expect to have these wrapped up overnight. But as a person who loves decluttering, I look forward to the process. What is something you’re working to let go of? Let me know?

  • So Relatable: An Interview with Chrissy Hennessey

    Although Chrissy Hennessey and I have never met on person, we’ve been internet friends for at least 15 years. I’ve been following her adventures since Blogger was the biggest thing in internet content. I don’t really remember how I stumbled across her old blog, but regardless, I’ve watched her run marathons, move across the country, get an MFA, and balance having a day job with a writing career while maintaining a consistent movement practice. Chrissy is also the author of So Relatable, which has the distinct honor of being the only Substack newsletter that lands in my inbox. If you want to learn more about writing, creativity, balance, and snacks, check it out.

    As a writer, I’ve always been drawn to long-form interviews. When I was thinking about who I’d like to include for this blog, Chrissy was my immediate first choice. Since at least 2008, I’ve read her chronicles of roller derby, running marathons, and yoga classes. (I’m also pretty sure she was into kettlebells before they were cool.) I really admire the way she manages to do her 40-hour job while making room for creativity and movement. Read on to learn more about Chrissy’s favorite ways to work out, the benefits of the YMCA, and of course, snacks. (My text is in bold, and Chrissy’s responses are in standard font.)

    What is your current favorite form of movement?

    Right now I’m really enjoying group classes at the YMCA, specifically strength/HIIT classes. Like most people, I have a lot going on at work and in my personal life, so I love just showing up and letting the instructor tell me what to do. I absolutely love one new class in particular called “Bells, Boats and Ropes,” which involves moving through stations that include a rowing machine, kettlebells, and battle ropes. It’s fast paced, keeps me engaged, and works out every single muscle. 

    You mentioned you once had to take remedial gym. Are you comfortable sharing that experience?

    Ha, of course! In elementary school, we had to do the President’s Physical Fitness Test (the wonderful podcast Maintenance Phase has a great episode about why this test is problematic at best.) One year, I just didn’t feel like it and refused to take part. While everyone else did sit ups, I laid on my back. Instead of running a mile, I strolled around the track. I scored so low that I ended up in remedial gym, which met once a week and was clearly created for children with actual physical issues and limitations. I, on the other hand, was just lazy. I don’t remember much about it, so it didn’t appear to scar me in any way, but it makes a good story. 

    What was the first form of exercise/movement that interested you? What about it was so compelling?

    In my early 20s, I moved to Texas and joined a roller derby league (despite not actually knowing how to skate) and that was the first time I really fell in love with movement. We started each practice with drills, and suddenly sit ups and push ups were for a purpose – to be better players – rather than for aesthetics. Growing up, I’d never considered myself an athlete or cared about team sports, so roller derby was a new world in many ways. I worked really hard and eventually became a really fast skater, which was a revelation. I could be good at something physical??? Who knew! 

    You’ve written extensively about balancing a day job with your writing life. How do you make time for a consistent movement practice in the mix?

    I go through seasons with exercise and movement. Sometimes I’m great at prioritizing it, other times it’s not the most important thing on my list. Right now I’m in a really good routine – I’m not training for anything or trying to achieve a physical goal. I’m just aiming for daily movement and that makes me feel strong, healthy, and happy. Maybe that’s a really tough Sculpt class at the YMCA, maybe it’s a 3 mile run because the weather is perfect, maybe it’s a slow walk with my geriatic dog because I’m tired from a long day. That said, having a regular schedule is key. When 7am rolls around, I know it’s time to do something physical. That’s my default right now, and it’s great to have one less decision to make. 

    What is the biggest positive impact that your workout habits have on the rest of your life?

    My mental health, by far! I’m prone to anxiety and working out is the one time of the day where I get to turn off my brain and tune into my body. This is another reason I love instructor-led classes – the less I have to think, the better. 

    Do you believe there’s something about working out that specifically helps your creative life?

    I’m a writer (personally and professionally). It’s nearly impossible for me to be creative and productive if I’m anxious, if my hips are so tight it’s hard to sit in a chair, if I didn’t sleep well the night before. Working out doesn’t solve all these problems, but it clears away a lot of the mental and physical distractions that keep me from doing my best, most creative work.  

    What has been your biggest frustration and/or setback in your fitness life?

    Working full time. Just kidding! (Except not…) At its best, fitness is something you do for yourself, not for anyone else. Unfortunately, that can make it really hard to prioritize. It can feel like the last thing on your to-do list, or the first thing to go when you get busy or tired or too many people need something from you. I turned 40 this year, and as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that the only way to be the best partner, friend, sister, aunt, writer, colleague, etc., is to take care of myself first. That outlook makes it much easier to carve out time for regular workouts, even if it means saying no or making other sacrifices. 


    What has been your biggest joy and/or accomplishment in your fitness life?

    In my 20s, I was an extremely average but very dedicated runner, and I ran two full marathons. Those races are probably my biggest physical accomplishments, though I wouldn’t really describe them as joyful. My biggest joy is really the boring, everyday stuff – realizing I’m ready to up my weights, that moment in yoga when I feel my whole body unclench, riding my bike home from the YMCA full of endorphins, and simply existing in a body that feels strong, limber, and capable. 

    You’re a big advocate for the YMCA. What makes the Y such a special place?

    I truly believe the YMCA is the people’s gym. It’s a place to work out, but it’s also a true community center. People from every economic class and background use the YMCA, they have every amenity that matters (including free childcare!), they offer financial assistance and sliding scale memberships, and it’s just a really welcoming, inclusive space. Is the YMCA perfect? No, definitely not. The yoga classes can be a little chaotic, especially when you’re trying to relax in savasana and you can hear the Zumba music from downstairs. But it’s worth it. I feel like I belong at the YMCA, and that sense of community is one of the reasons I keep going back. 

    What is your biggest tip for maintaining a workout habit while on a budget?

    Have I mentioned the YMCA?! But also, if you are truly trying to workout for free, I have a few suggestions. During the pandemic, when the YMCA was closed, YouTube kept me fit and sane. (This is not an exaggeration.) Specifically, I love Heather Robertson for strength and HIIT workouts, and Yoga with Adriene for daily yoga. Also, walking is a great, totally free workout that offers so many incredible benefits – it doesn’t get the attention it deserves! 

    Bonus: What is your favorite post-workout snack (or meal)?

    I usually workout in the morning, before I’ve eaten. (These are not fasted workouts, I’m just not hungry that early.) When I get home, I love to make a big egg sandwich on sprouted toast, with some sharp cheddar cheese, a handful of microgreens, and a veggie sausage. A few years ago, I realized that protein exists (huge news for someone who’s been vegetarian for 23 years) and now I try to be mindful about getting a good dose at every meal. 

    Thanks to Chrissy for being my inaugural interview subject! For more from her, be sure to subscribe to So Relatable over on Substack. Thanks for reading!

  • How I Help Myself Have a Good Morning

    I spent the bulk of my years in Austin working as a professor, with odd hours and mornings that were pretty relaxed compared to the average person. Now that I’ve gone back into industry, that luxury is gone, and it’s been an adjustment to figure out how to still cultivate a sense of ease and calm to set myself up for a good day.

    The fact that I struggle with sleep-maintenance insomnia doesn’t help. Some nights, when my alarm goes off, I cannot bring myself to get out of bed. While I believe it’s important to take some time for yourself before heading into the office, there are days when what I need to do is get an extra hour of sleep, and wake up 20 minutes before leaving the house.

    Over the past six months, I’ve developed strategies to help me have a better morning, whether I wake up energized and ready to work out, or whether I need to sleep as late as possible. Either way, the structure I’ve set for my morning accommodates each option.

    Of course, a few things make my mornings easier by default. I don’t have any childcare or eldercare responsibilities, for example. So what works for me isn’t always going to work for you. But I hope the list below inspires you to think about what adjustments you can make to fit your particular situation.

    A photo of salmon and veggies

    Give myself a work uniform

    One of the things I noticed about my habits during the pandemic was that I would pretty much wear the same five outfits over and over. Even when things began to open up, I would wear the same things. So much of the clothing in my closet went unused. I also noticed that when I didn’t have to think about what to wear in the morning, I was less stressed. When I transitioned back to office life this summer, I decided to give myself a work uniform.

    I have a warm weather uniform and a cold weather uniform. The warm weather wardrobe consists of five button-down shirts and five skorts. The cold weather uniform consists of five sweaters and five pairs of pants. For transitional periods, I usually pear the button down shirts with the pants. Everything is in a neutral color, so I don’t even have to think about matching. I just check the temperature forecast for the day and dress accordingly. Not having to think about what I’m wearing to work cuts out a source of anxiety for me, and has made a huge difference in my mornings.

    Meal prep breakfast and lunch (and eat both at the office)

    Fun fact: I absolutely hate doing meal prep. I despise doing all the work of chopping, cooking, and packing up without the immediate reward of getting to eat anything. I also hate packing my breakfast, taking it to work, and eating it in the break room. Yet doing these two things I dislike nonetheless leads to better mornings.

    First, if I didn’t do any meal prep, I would either have to get up even earlier than I already do on a good day in order to have time to make my food for the day. Since I’ve learned the hard way that my good-day wake-up time is the best I can possibly do, getting up 30 minutes earlier to make food is not going to happen. So the other alternative to not meal prepping is going out to lunch 4 days a week, which is not ideal for my budget. So in the long run, to maximize sleep and be in line with my financial goals, meal prep sets me up for good mornings.

    Second, taking the time to eat breakfast at home again means waking up at least 30 minutes earlier (obviously not going to happen), and it also means making myself eat before I’m actually hungry. I know there is a lot of advice about when you should or should not eat breakfast, and I’ll just say that making myself eat breakfast before my body is actually hungry does not make me feel good. If I get up at 6:00 a.m., I don’t even begin to want food until at least 8:00 a.m. I experimented with making myself eat earlier at home, but that was not setting me up to feel good the rest of the day. Eating breakfast in the break room stinks, but sometimes, self-care just means choosing the less-frustrating of two choices. And it’s less frustrating to wait until I actually feel hungry to eat. (Your mileage may vary; pick the eating schedule that works best for you.)

    Pack my bag the night before

    Before going to bed, I make sure my bag is ready to go for the next day. Most days of the week, I go straight from the office to either training Pilates clients, or working with my own trainer. That means I pack my wallet, workout clothes, planner, and anything else I might need into my backpack. I sleep better and am less anxious in the morning knowing that my bag is ready for me to just grab and go!

    Set out things that don’t get packed

    I fill my water bottle and travel tea mug fresh every morning, so those don’t get packed up. Instead, I have them sitting right by the sink and ready to be filled. Not having to search for what I need brings a sense of ease to my morning. I also lay out my clothing, including socks and underwear. (Because let’s face it, who really wants to dig through the clean laundry basket for matching socks?) I make it easy to know where everything is, which saves me the frustration of having to hunt around and waste time that could be spent walking my dog, working out, or sleeping in.

    Keep my routine as simple as possible

    At one point, I was trying to cram as much as possible into my morning so I could feel accomplished before I had to go in and give 8 hours to my employer. (9-10 if you factor in my commute.) But starting my day with a sense of cluttered urgency wasn’t doing my mental health any favors.

    On the days I get up on time, my one definite task is a dog walk. After that, I do a quick dumbbell/kettlebell workout, or if it’s a rest day, I do about 20 minutes of work on a creative project. Then I’m out the door.

    I also am able to keep my routine simple because of some personal preferences that may or may not work for you. I have always preferred to shower at night; it helps me wind down for sleep. Not having to shower in the morning saves me a ton of time. I also prefer not to wear makeup on a regular day; that’s for special occasions. Since makeup isn’t a priority for me, cutting it out saves me time. Again, though, those are some preferences that I know most people don’t share. However, you can look at your routine and figure out what is not truly necessary, and then eliminate it.

    I hope this list has given you some ideas for how you can create a greater sense of ease in your own mornings. Already got your own specific strategies? Let me know in the comments!

  • Notes on Negotiating for a Car

    Five years ago!

    As I finish this post, I’m thinking about the meme that complains about the essay that inevitably comes before a recipe on a poetry blog. So I’m going to lead with John’s four key tips for negotiating a car. If you want the context for why I have car negotiation tips on a poetry blog, the essay will be at the end.

    Four Tips That Served Me Well in Auto Dealership Negotiations

    1. Make sure that you have access to the full amount of money for the car you want to buy. If this is a private sale, always carry cash–even if the amount is a little unnerving. If it’s a dealership, make sure you have a check.
    2. Initially offer 30% below asking price. They will scoff, and you will remind them that you have all the money to pay 30% below asking price right now.
    3. They will come down, inevitably. Private people are persuaded by hundred dollar bills, and salespeople prefer less profit to no sale.
    4. If they resist, gesture toward leaving. This both is and isn’t a bluff. There are always other cars, and you can in fact look elsewhere. This is not your dream car. It is a mass-produced machine.
    Some examples of the meme in question. Essay below. You are welcome.
    Why Have I Posted Car Negotiation Tips to a Poetry Blog?

    You are probably wondering what negotiating for a car has to do with poetry, or anything else I talk about on this blog. And I’ll admit, I’m not usually one to talk about finance, or finance-related topics, in any of my writing. I have, however, written a number of poems about driving. And this morning, I realized I’ve been a happy Subaru owner for half a decade! I bought my preowned Outback in the summer of 2016, and even though the car is now 12 years old, it’s still going strong!

    I’ve always been slightly ashamed to admit that I paid full sticker for the 2008 Volkswagen Beetle I had before the Subaru… that one I also bought preowned in 2011, but though it was only a year older than the car I now have, within five years, my beloved convertible Beetle was sadly proving to not be a reliable vehicle. Each year, one of the window regulators broke. In the last year I owned it, the trunk wouldn’t work, the rear window fell in, and the rear struts went out. By the summer of 2016, I was ready to cut my losses and move on.

    Of course, being embarrassed over paying full sticker, I was reluctant to go car shopping again. Words cannot express how much I loathe having to negotiate for anything. The one and only time I had to negotiate for my salary, I honestly felt like I was going to die. I am not being hyperbolic. I would rather have a root canal than negotiate for anything. I was aware, however, the extent to which I’d really lost out by paying full sticker for my Beetle.

    John happened to be in Morocco when this whole excursion was happening, but over Facebook message, he wrote me an excellent negotiation outline that served me well. I followed it step by step, and got a car I wanted at a shockingly low mileage, especially for Austin, where you are lucky to find a used Subaru with less than 100,000 on it already.

    Over the years, friends have asked me for the method, but as I only used it once, I didn’t commit it to memory. However, it was useful. And at some point, I will have to buy another vehicle… but I only hit 100,00 miles on my Outback in December 2019, and I’m angling for 300,000 before I get a new vehicle. But between people asking for negotiation tips, and the difficulty of finding old information in the Facebook messenger interface, I’m reproducing the negotiating outline here, for anyone who wants it. May the odds be ever in your favor when it comes to a vehicle negotiation.

    (Also, may you never have to wade through five years of old Facebook messages to find the one you are looking for. This might be the most time-intensive blog post I have ever written, just because of the terrible Messenger interface.)

  • A List of Quarantine Projects I’ve Undertaken in Somewhat Chronological order

    The old power steering pump
    • Replaced my worn-out power steering pump
    • Tilled up 96 square feet of soil by hand
    • Planted 25 different vegetables, plus marigolds to keep the nematodes away
    • Completed an EP of yoga nidra practices for equinox and solstice
    • Built a hanging rack for my pots and pans, and generally reorganized my entire kitchen
    Dishes on display!
    • Took a level 1 mat Pilates teacher training
    • Assembled and started submitting a new poetry chapbook manuscript
    • Started a new blog endeavor, The Best of It, to record the small niceties in my life
    • Took a course on the Matangi, Durga, and Lasksmi archetypes offered by Chanti Tacoronte-Perez and Stephanie Chee Barea
    Warp board
    • Took a course on Buddhism called The Whole Path, offered by Sharon Salzberg
    • Made green tea ice cream
    • Made my first quilt, entirely by hand, using tote bags from End of an Ear
    • Began making a quilt for my friend’s baby
    • Created plans for a quilt to give my aunt and uncle for Christmas
    Evolution of a quilt
    • Built a warp board for my table loom
    • Learned to make baba ganoush, as well as a few variations
    • Started submitting poetry regularly again
    • Helped Borderlands apply for funding for next year
    • Organized my bathroom cabined
    • Cleaned out my bedroom closet
    Evolution of a garden

    I hope that, wherever you are, you are as safe as possible, and finding ways to stay happy and fulfilled through quarantine.

  • Notes on Teaching Under Quarantine

    My last meal before quarantine: a giant boat of sushi that I shared with my friend Aneesa at Ichiban in Austin, Texas

    I wasn’t surprised when ACC announced it would be switching to 100% distance learning for the remainder of the semester. And as someone who has been teaching at least one online class a semester since I started there, I’m pretty comfortable with the distance format. Because of my experience, I had a relatively easy time converting my classroom courses to online ones. Still, this challenge has given me an opportunity to reflect on my current teaching habits, and how I might shape my courses in the future.

    Even students whose classes were already 100% online are struggling. Many of them have lost their jobs. Or they are essential workers, pulling lots of overtime and stressed out. Or their kids are suddenly home and also have to be on the computer all day for their K-12 classes, and there isn’t necessarily enough bandwidth or enough devices to go around easily. Some have even gotten sick. Every student needs to be treated with care right now, even if their course format didn’t suddenly change.

    Converting a classroom course to an online course halfway is not the same as teaching a course that was online all along. My fully online courses are being run the same, though with an adjusted course calendar, because the extended spring break was granted to all students. I am also being as flexible as possible with everyone. But the converted courses are being run differently to maintain consistency where I can. Whereas my fully online courses were set up to be asynchronous, I’m running synchronous video sessions during normal class sessions for my classroom courses. Not everyone can attend (for all of the reasons mentioned in the previous paragraph), so I’m making video available after. But trying to maintain some semblance of regular weekly live connection has been helpful. There is no one-size-fits-all approach for how to do this.

    Even students who attended live video sessions like being able to watch the replay. Many of my students have reported going back and re-watching the videos to clarify and reinforce information. This has been a great source of insight for me. Although my online classes will still be generally asynchronous, I’m exploring with ways to add a synchronous option once a week for those who want to attend. Then the video will be available for anyone who wants it. I haven’t decided how I want to implement that into established distance learning courses, but it will happen in some shape or form. And while I don’t love the idea of recording my in-person classes (once in-person classes can happen again) and posting them, I’m also wondering if that wouldn’t help student outcomes. It’s definitely something to consider.

    Sometimes I still expect too much. This is true for both my students and for myself. In having to adjust all of my course calendars due to losing a week of instructional time, I had a great chance to see where I had too many activities, or was trying to cram in too much content. And there have been times in all of this where my perfectionism has caused me a great deal of stress. But I have to give myself the same sense of grace I do for my students and for my colleagues.

    I’m glad I trusted my instincts. In the initial weeks of lockdown, there were a lot of articles about what teachers should or should not do, many of them with very black-and-white stances. Ultimately, I took some advice and rejected other advice. Implementation hasn’t been 100% perfect, but these are nowhere near perfect conditions. I’ve done my best, and most of the feedback from students tells me I made the right decisions for my particular courses.

    This has truly been the most challenging semester of my teaching life. I already had a double overload before all of this started. I’ve faced a lot of doubt and overwhelm. But in all that, there has been a great deal of opportunity for reflection, and I think I will come out of this a better teacher.

  • The Best of It: Kitchen Organization Edition

    Everyday use items
    Pots and pans in the style of Julia Child
    Common cookware
    1. Yesterday, John helped me put up a peg board so I could hang my pots and pans. I love how it looks, and I am thrilled with how this has opened up cabinet space.
    2. John also reorganized my shelves to make common dishes and cookware easily accessible. I’m really grateful for his sense of design.
    3. We got takeout from our favorite Chinese place, and it felt so decadent.
    4. I got to lead a yoga nidra practice via Zoom as part of the Austin Wellness Collaborative Corona Series.
    5. Every episode of Brooklyn 99 fills me with delight.