Category: Austin

  • Poet About Town

    I’m excited to announce that I’m going to be the featured poet at the Kick But Coffee Spoken and Heard poetry open mic on Sunday, September 9th.  I’ll be doing thirty minutes of material, which means this will be the longest reading I’ve done. I’m working carefully to set up a good balance of poems. The event starts at 7 p.m. and is free (though if you’re going to come, please at least buy a cup of coffee to help support the venue).

     

    September 27th-30th brings us the newest incarnation of the Austin International Poetry Festival. I’m excited to see the changes, and also glad that some things are staying the same. There’s a great lineup of featured poets, and I look forward to all the readings, open mics, and workshops. I’ll definitely be reading at least two or three of the open mics. The festival is free to the general public (though donations are appreciated), so please come out and help us celebrate poetry in Austin.

  • Signal Boost: Feminist Poetry Festival

    For those of you who read both this blog and Literary Austin, apologies for the double post. I know a good chunk of people read one blog or the other, so I’m reposting from the original Literary Austin post to make sure this information gets to everyone.

    I’m planning a literary event, and I need your help!

    Plans for the First Annual Austin Feminist Poetry Festival (working title) are underway. The tentative date is April 4th through 7th, and I am looking to recruit volunteers to help me plan and implement the event.

    Anyone who wants to help is more than welcome. I have a particular need for people who can assist with fundraising and grantwriting, but anyone who is enthused and wants to help is more than welcome. This will be a big job, and the more the merrier!

    Please note that this festival embodies an inclusive definition of feminism. It is not an event for women only (however you define the term). All feminist-identified people, regardless of sex/gender expression, are welcome to join the planning committee.

    If interested, please contact me at literaryaustin@gmail.com. Once I have ascertained interest, I’ll email interested people to set up our initial planning meeting.

    Please feel free to share this with your various social networks, in order to reach people who might not read this blog, but who would be interested in participating.

  • Weekend Adventures Part 2: Austin Chronicle Hot Sauce Festival

    Printed on the side of the tortilla chip boxes. I don’t know. I just liked it.

    Last year, it was 112 degrees on the day of the Austin Chronicle Hot Sauce Festival; on top of that, there was still one more day for ArmadilloCon. While the festival has been a must-attend for Jon and me ever since we lived here, between the weather and the conflict, we decided to skip out. This year, the con and the festival were on separate weekends, and the weather was much more temperate (it even rained a little bit!). And I’m glad we went, because there were some delicious new things.

    Chips!

    We started out in the tasting lines for the sauces entered in the competition. We hit the specialty sauces first, and tasted some amazing creations, from great habanero sauces, to those made with citrus or curry or cucumber, to one that included shrimp!

    Shrimp salsa! Who would have thought?

    But our favorite by far was from a newcomer to the festival this year: the Cajun Garlic Essence sauce from Jac’s Tailgaters, based out of Louisiana.

     

    After tasting all the specialty sauces, we moved on to the green sauce section. Halfway through, we decided we were done with the long, slow lines, so decided to hit up the hot sauce vendors who were offering samples. And, of course, let people take our money in exchange for delicious hot sauce.

    We ended up buying condiments from five different companies (in order of appearance on our festival meanderings):

    High Octane Sauce Company

    • Rice Burner Sweet and Spicy Asian Sauce (I didn’t sample this, but Jon assures me that I’m going to love it)

    Cin Chili

    • Cindy’s Cin-namon Apple BBQ Sauce (delightfully sweet and savory)
    • Hell’s Passion Hot Sauce (reminds me of my former favorite, Scorned Woman, before they changed their recipe for the worse)
    • Triple-C Steak Sauce (I don’t remember the last time I bought steak sauce, as I don’t really eat steak, but this was too delicious to pass up)

    Austin Slow Burn

    • Habanero-Rosemary Jelly (I’m a big fan of their Habanero-Cranberry Jelly as well, but we decided to purchase the new flavor this year)

    Jac’s Tailgaters 

    • Cajun Garlic Essence (I will reiterate: the best sauce entered in the competition)
    • Bayou Gold Chipotle Mustard Sauce (because I am a mustard addict)
    • Cajun Lightning Hot Sauce (I think it’s new, because it’s not on their website; it cost $3 more than the rest of the sauces, but was well worth the price)

    Thai Gourmet

    • Thai Cumber Salsa, medium heat, with Thai peppers (Our first choice was the high heat with habaneros, but they were sold out; this was the next best thing, and still very delicious)
    • Massamun Curry Sauce (I can’t wait to cook with this!)

    After over three hours of standing in the sun and sampling sauce, we came away with enough to last us at least six months (probably; we’re hot sauce addicts). And, at the end of all that, what was the natural choice? A trip to Amy’s Ice Cream, to chill out. The perfect ending to a perfect afternoon.

    Guinness ice cream with Heath bar crumbles mixed in. Delicious.
  • Feminist Friday: Kimberly Chapman and Feminist Romance

    As a former romance editor, one of the things that frustrated me was a lack of feminist aspects to the genre. Sexism, either explicit or implicit, ran through nearly every book I read. And what frustrated me most is that I felt that it didn’t have to be that way. Romantic love and feminism are not mutually exclusive.

    Admittedly, romance is not my preferred genre of choice for reading. So since I have moved on to a different career path, I haven’t spent much time in that world. But I was thrilled to meet Austin author Kimberly Chapman on Google+ a few months ago, and learn that she was releasing a feminist romance novel entitled Finding Gaia (available at Smashwords, Gumroad, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble).

    Kimberly also recently wrote a two-part blog series about feminist romance. Part 1, “It Can’t Be Only Me,” defines many of the problems she has (and that I have) with the romance genre, and why she chose to pursue feminist romance:

    I don’t read a lot of romance because too often I end up finding parts that conflict with my values as an educated, independent-minded, political woman. The tropes that tend to be associated with romance heroes – the bad boy, the rebel, the pirate, the power-hungry alpha male – thrilled me when I was fifteen, but I’ve since outgrown them in favour of reading about more introspective, three-dimensional, and emotional men. I’m not interested in any fantasy in which clothing is torn from me by a lusty so-called hero. Bodices are expensive, uncomfortable, and tough: I don’t want one ripped off!

    [. . .]

    I want to read about heroes and heroines who do grand things amidst torturous self-doubt, as any of us would experience if we were cast into plots of intrigue and adventure. I want both sides to be human: flawed and frightened but also bold and exciting. I want to read about awesome people doing awesome things and then having awesome sex. I want both sides fulfilled in joy and love. I want them to respect each other and take each other to new orgasmic heights not in spite of that respect, but because of it.

    There are niche markets for romance to satisfy various religious or cultural values, so why not a niche for feminist values? I want to see my ethics, morals, and philosophy reflected in a torrid love story. I accept that those values are sometimes contradictory to traditional romance, but I want more authors to embrace that challenge and work with it. After all, if plenty of feminist women and men can manage to get it on happily together in stable, mutually-nurturing relationships, why can’t that be a staple of fiction? Take those educated, liberal lifestyles and set them amidst great adventures!

    Surely I cannot be the only suburban mom looking at the rise of the mama-porn genre thinking, “Is there anything in that for me?” I don’t want to read about Christian Grey flavoured popsicles. I don’t want stark erotica either. If that sort of thing works for others, they’re welcome to it, but I want – no, demand! – something more.

    […]

    That’s what I want to write. That’s what I try to write. I know my audience exists at least in this desk chair here: where are the rest of you? Do you fear being seen to read romance will mark you as insufficiently feminist? I do. Are you longing for recommendations of books with great sex scenes that don’t demean the women involved? I am. Are you writing these stories but having trouble finding your niche in a market that seems to reward precisely those elements which conflict with your feminist and professional values? Me too.

    Go read the whole post. I found it inspiring. I found it heartening. If there were more authors like her, I might have stayed a romance editor.

    Part 2, “What Defines Feminist Romance?,” is pretty-self-explanatory. It’s Chapman’s definition of what feminist romance is as a sub-genre, and how it works.

    First of all, it’s important to declare some firm rules to which I believe most feminists would agree:

    Feminist Romance must never contain any of the following:

    • Positive portrayals of rape, sexual assault, any non-consensual sexual act, or physical abuse.
    • Glorification or lauding of any perpetrator of rape, sexual assault, any non-consensual sexual act, or physical abuse.
    • Positive portrayals of empty objectification of anyone as a sexual object alone.
    • Positive use of any sort of hate speech (not limited to feminism: I believe most feminists would be equally appalled at racism, homophobism, etc.)

    I’m not saying the above concepts can’t exist in the story; in fact, clearly some of them are prime motivators to feminist action. It’d be quite the fantastic world where rape or bigotry do not exist. The key is they must not be presented in any way that even implies that they are acceptable. A rape survivor can reclaim her inner strength and move on, but at no time should a rapist be shown in a sympathetic light. A suitor can tell a lady she’s beautiful in a lovely romantic scene, but at no time should a woman’s fuckability be held up as a defining characteristic. Characters who objectify in that regard must be portrayed negatively.

    […]

    Feminist Romances should avoid the following:

    • Positive depictions of sexual humiliation – I personally don’t want to read BDSM even though others might be into that. If it is included, it needs to be 100% consensual, and even then, I don’t believe that humiliating aspects of some sexual kinks are conducive to a romantic love story between equal partners. That falls more into erotica, which is a separate genre. Further, any of this sort of thing would need to have trigger warnings, which in and of themselves aren’t very romantic.
    • Strong female protagonists giving up their strength or independence in order to pursue the romance – Don’t set up a character as having a wonderful trait only to make her abandon it so the guy will love her. Don’t make her give up her bow in order to be a proper princess. Don’t make her sacrifice her independence to find true love (because true love is two independent people sharing their lives, not taking each others’).
    • Glorification of patriarchy, of male dominion over women, or of willing female submission – Again, it’s one thing for the story to take place against a patriarchal backdrop, since that will include most known societies, but I don’t consider it the least bit romantic for a woman to give herself over to a male power figure. If the story has the male protagonist in a higher position of power than the female protagonist – which again will inevitably be common because life works that way more often than not – both sides should be aware of the power difference and be actively working to mitigate it. A man boffing his secretary on his desk is neither romantic nor sexy to me, but a boss who falls in love with someone in his employ and wrestles with that as a moral and philosophical dilemma does interest me, as long as when they come together it’s done in such a way that she’s clearly not being subjugated by the process.
    • Positive use of misogynistic slurs – I don’t find it the least bit sexy for a woman to be called a bitch, whore, slut, or any similar term. Again, others may not mind so much, but I don’t want to see those words used in any positive context in Feminist Romance. That’d put me off a character quickly, especially if used during sex scenes.
    • Pandering – Don’t stick a traditionally male trait or role on a woman (“Look! She’s a mechanic!”), tack on a conversation between two women about some feminist concept you dug out of a Wikipedia article (“Patriarchy bad!”), have a lady-on-top sex scene, and say, “There! Feminist enough for ya?” Because no, it’s not. Just like those of us who are geeks to any other topic can tell when we’re being pandered too, so too can feminists, and nobody likes it. Don’t even bother.

    […]

    Positive things a Feminist Romance could include:

    • Redefined traits without gender attachment – It’s easy to cast a female protagonist as being tough or having a particular skill usually attributed to men. Fine. But feminism isn’t about taking on traditionally male tropes and reshaping them to fit women: it’s about redefining what being female is without sexist constraints in the first place. Give the princess a sword and let her fight, but don’t prevent her from crying when her friend falls in battle. Likewise, when the prince’s friend falls, he should cry too. I’d love to see more juxtapositions of both supposedly male and supposedly female attributes, casting them all as part of the human condition and not limited to a particular gender.
    • Self-Rescuing Princesses – Or generally speaking, women that solve their own problems, at least partially. A good partnership love story will obviously have room for both parties to assist and rely on each other throughout the plot – be it as part of grand adventure or more inward, personal struggles – but empowering female protagonists to lift themselves out of pain and danger is likewise empowering to the female reader.
    • Survivor strength – Regardless of how a female protagonist managed to survive an ordeal, her recovery should show at least some level of self-determination and empowerment. That doesn’t mean she has to go it entirely alone without support from those who care about her. Again, a romance with a balanced partnership ought to include a loving shoulder to cry on should she need it, and there’s nothing wrong with needing that from time to time. But I – and I’m sure other feminist readers – appreciate heroines who overcome trauma by using love as a foundation from which they can grow in their own way, on their own terms, and using their own inner strength. This is particularly true for misogynistic trauma such as rape; a female protagonist who has gone through that horror is more compelling if she’s active and powerful in her healing process in a way that doesn’t dismiss the trauma as inconsequential.
    • Discussion and contemplation of gender roles – I don’t require protagonists to be perfect feminists (if there even was such a thing), as long as they recognize problems and work to correct them. I personally have a thing for heroic men who struggle with what their role is in a relationship with a woman who routinely saves herself from danger. I don’t want to see the man being positively portrayed for resenting that, but I find it very compelling for him to have to reconsider social norms in that context. Likewise, I enjoy seeing women discuss gender issues from opposing yet sometimes equally feminist viewpoints, bringing classic debates down into the microcosm of individual lives. Having characters question themselves and each other on specific plot points and how they each deal with them is fertile ground for feminist discussions, and I’d like to see more of that.
    • A version of The Bechdel Test – That test was made for movies, but I see no reason why it shouldn’t at least be loosely applied to Feminist Romance. I say “loosely” because any heterosexual romance is going to necessitate a lot of conversations about the male protagonist. But since I prefer rich plots in which the love story is a central aspect – as opposed to stories that are solely about the relationship and sex – I’d love to see a lot of Feminist Romances that pass the Bechdel Test. That could mean something as basic as two women talking about something tangentially related to the love story, or perhaps about wider feminist ideals as noted above.
    • LGBT normalization – I’m mostly straight so I’m personally looking for heterosexual sex scenes, but that doesn’t mean LGBT themes should be absent. I appreciate inclusion of LGBT characters not out of tokenism but out of casual, normal, daily life, particularly in cultures that are permissive of openness. Obviously, there will be a certain segment of the Feminist Romance audience that specifically want lesbian love scenes, so that will no doubt come up on many lists of requests for this genre.
    • Shared child-rearing – Few things make my heart beat for a male protagonist more than if he has good fathering skills beyond being willing to throw a football on Saturdays or occasional diaper changes. Give me stories of men who perform heroic acts for children not merely out of duty and certainly not to impress the ladies, but because they have big hearts and can’t bear to see a child suffer. Tell me about a man weeping in joy when he first holds his newborn child and I’ll be crying along with him. It’s fair to expect any male protagonist in a Feminist Romance that includes children to be a decent dad, but I’d appreciate it if authors went beyond the typical to really delve into fatherly love and gladly taken responsibility. Clearly not all Feminist Romance would even include children at all and some would argue that motherhood in a feminist context is a whole separate discussion, but if the love story does include children, I expect them to be raised in an equitable partnership. Dumb-Dad Syndrome is equally offensive to women and men and doesn’t belong in a Feminist Romance at all.

    While I can’t say I agree with every single item on these lists, for the most part, it’s spot-on. Chapman welcomes discussion over at both posts, and I encourage you to read and comment. This is a worthwhile discussion for romance readers, for feminists who don’t read romance, and for writers and readers in general.

  • Summer Adventures: Foundation Graffiti

    Austin has had an unusually rainy week, which means cloudy skies and cooler temperatures. When the heat is (slightly) less intense, that means more exploring.

     

    A few weeks ago, Jon went to lunch with a friend, and they happened upon Foundation Graffiti. A vacant lot just off of Lamar (if you’re heading southbound on Lamar, turn right on 12th street, and then take the first left that is a street rather than a parking lot). After hearing about it and seeing their photos, I had to take my camera out and see the sights.

     

    I was floored by what I saw. Built on a vacant lot (I’m still puzzling over what it used to be back in the day), the remains of the building are embedded in Castle Hill, so there’s plenty of climbing to be done. Which is not always easy if you want to protect your camera, but well worth the effort.

     

    I was amazed at the artwork on display. Those who do not believe that street art classifies at art will change their minds after seeing this display. Yes, there is a range in terms of the quality of work on display. However, all in all, the paintings here are the creations of experienced artists who have honed their craft.

     

    Foundation Graffiti is free and open to the public, and you can browse for a few minutes or a couple of hours. All locals should stop by and check it out; it’s also a fun place to bring tourist friends, at least as a side trip. And from what I can tell from blocks and Flickr pages, it looks like the art gradually evolves over time, so there’s always something new to see.

     

    If the art wasn’t enough to lure you in, it’s worth a climb to the top just to enjoy the view. You’ll get some excellent scenery of the downtown area. Get up early enough, and this would be an amazing spot to watch the sun rise.

     

    So enjoy more photos of a spot that is quintessentially Austin. I hope they inspire you to visit.

     

     

     

  • Farmers’ Market Report: Downtown

    This past Saturday, my friend Amanda and I ventured out to the Downtown Farmers’ Market. I’d been there a number of times already, but it was Amanda’s first visit. And though I wasn’t a first-time visitor, it had been too long since I’d been there. This particular market has expanded quite a bit since I was last there, and I enjoyed seeing all that it had to offer.

    While I intended to stock up on a lot of produce, I admittedly blew well over half of my budget at Dai Due, which is one of my favorite places to obtain meats. I bought a full pound of wild boar chorizo (worth every penny), and also a tub of delicious pimento cheese.

    After that, I was left with just enough money for a basket of figs. Which doesn’t sound like much, but it became part of an amazing pasta salad on Sunday night: bowtie pasta, chopped figs, sun-dried tomatoes, feta, and a ton of balsamic vinegar.  I wish I had photos, but unfortunately, my camera battery was dead, and we didn’t want to wait until it recharged to have dinner.

    The pimento cheese went on the most perfect loaf of honey whole wheat bread I have ever made (again, dead camera battery means that this moment of culinary beauty was fleeting), and the chorizo went into an excellent chili, made with fresh peppers from one of Jon’s coworkers. So while I didn’t get much in quantity, I came away with a few quality items that made for two excellent dinners and lots of leftovers.

  • Poet About Town

    Just a head’s up that I’m going to be participating in a couple of local poetry events this month that I want to promote and share.

    First, I’ll be guest-hosting the monthly BookWoman Poetry Open Mic on Thursday, July 14th at 7:15 p.m. Regular host Cindy Huyser is going to be out of town, and I’m honored that she asked me to fill in. This month’s featured readers will be Mike and Joyce Gullickson.

    Mike and Joyce Gullickson together publish “The Enigmatist” and “Blue Hole” magazines. Mike is the founder and chairman of the Georgetown Poetry Festival, held the first weekend in October at the Georgetown Public Library. His work has appeared in the San Antonio Express, Barnwood Press, X-magazine, Di-Verse-City, and others. In 2008/9 he won the National Senior Poet Laureate prize with his poem “A Promise of Music.” Joyce Gullickson has been labeled everything from a poetry pilgrim to a poetry pariah.  She believes poetry can connect all people…if only they are willing to listen…are you???

    After the featured poets read their work, we’ll have a round-robin open mic until roughly 9 p.m., or whenever people run out of poems, whichever comes first.

     

    On July 28th, I’ll be reading at the Twin Oaks Library from 2:30-4:30, as part of a reading series curated by local poet Ralph Hausser. Throughout the summer, Ralph is featuring poets who have won awards and honorable mentions in the Austin Poetry Society Annual Awards, the APS monthly contests, and APS special contests. I’m thrilled to have been invited to participate, and I especially look forward to being back at Twin Oaks, which was my home branch when we first moved to Austin, before we moved to the north-central part of town.

     

    Both of these events are free and open to the public. Come beat the heat this summer with air conditioning and great poems!

  • Farmers’ Market Report: The Triangle

    I love farmers’ markets, but despite the plethora of them in Austin, I admit I’m a lazy about getting out to them. With all of the HEB locations, opened way more hours, I end up choosing convenience over awesome, sustainable, always-local food.

    My friend Amanda just moved to Austin, and texted me on Monday asking if I’d scope out one of the many farmers’ markets. We both have commitments on Saturday, so I suggested we hit up the Wednesday evening market in the Triangle.

    The Triangle market is smaller than the big Saturday markets, so we were done with our shopping fairly quickly. But although we didn’t browse for long, we came away with some delicious finds. I splurged on a pound of wild hog ribs (I love wild game, and farmers’ market meat means I don’t have to worry about factor farming — totally worth the price). I also came home with a large box of okra, some delightfully savory Italian peppers (one of which wound up in my omelet this morning), and eggplant. I’m looking forward to fried okra, and also to doing something with the ribs in the slow cooker.

    After we finished, we sat in the shade and talked for a while, and came up with the idea of visiting all the area farmers’ markets this summer.  Here’s what’s in store for us over the course of the next few months:

    Those are the farmers’ markets in Austin proper. And if we get through all those, we can also check out these:

    It looks to be a summer full of great food and buying local. I can’t wait to explore.

  • My Most Beautiful Thing

    Today, I’m taking part in the My Most Beautiful Thing Blogsplash, to promote Fiona Robyn‘s newest novel, The Most Beautiful Thing. I’ve been motivated and inspired by Fiona and Kaspa’s work after I discovered a handful of stones last fall, so I’m happy to join in this celebration of Fiona’s work.

    To see what other Blogsplashers are writing about, click here for the full list of participants. 

    And as a bonus, Fiona is offering up her novel for free download today and tomorrow. What more incentive do you need to get a copy?

    So, without further ado, here is my most beautiful thing. 

    Last year, my poem “Traversing Houston by Bus” was accepted for the 2012 Texas Poetry Calendar. A few weeks after that, I was talking with Cindy Huyser, one of the Calendar co-editors. She said she liked the poem because it wasn’t “Oh Texas, my Texas.” There was love, but also ambivalence.

    I worked on that poem for about three months, and the ambivalence in the poem ended up surprising me. Because, while I frequently say that I don’t like Houston, that was the city where I first felt completely at home in Texas. I’d been in love with Austin before I first even moved here in 2008, but it took about two years before the rest of Texas grew on me.

    My dance partner and I were on a party bus in Houston with a group of people from D’Amico Dance, traveling around Houston and doing a west coast swing flash mob in various parts of the city. It was somewhere on the freeway that I felt one of the most profoundly joyful moments of my life. My best friend and I were on this bus with near-strangers, laughing, dancing, and having a great time. That was the moment when Texas–not just Austin–became home, became my most beautiful thing.

    It’s not just Austin and Houston, either. It’s the wineries on 290 leading out to Fredericksburg. It’s Enchanted Rock. It’s the cute bookshops in San Antonio. It’s Marfa, Alpine, Terlingua, Big Bend, Valentine, Marathon, and the rest of West Texas. Since that day on the bus in Houston, I’ve become more invested in Texas. And while I haven’t seen even half of it, I love it more and more each day. Austin will always be my home base, but Texas as a whole inspires me every day.

    There are times when I get homesick for Ohio. There are times I ponder moving to Manhattan, Philadelphia, Vancouver, Buenos Aires, Sydney, or any of the other hundreds of cities in the world I might love. But I can’t ever really imagine leaving. Not for very long. And even if I was gone on an extended trip, say 6 months to a year, I would want to know I’d be coming back.

    Yes, there are times I’m ambivalent about Texas. It shows up in almost every Texas poem I write. Sometimes, the heat gets too much, even for me (and the warmer, the better for me). And there’s much to dislike about Texas politics. Or the traffic in all of the major cities. Or the fact that even Austin isn’t all that pedestrian- and bicycle-friendly.

    But ambivalence does not mean a lack of love. Texas isn’t perfect, but it’s home. I and while I don’t believe in the concept of each writer having a Muse, the state as a whole comes pretty darn close. To me, there’s nothing more beautiful than this.

  • Goodbye, Reesa

    Reesa, with her daughter

    I met Reesa in February of 2010. I was having a rough week, and my friends Lynn and Casey took me to the weekly poker game she hosted, thinking it would cheer me up. It did. Reesa was already sick at that point, though the cancer had not been diagnosed. Despite the fact that she was suffering, I was blown away by her brilliance, especially the way she talked about her writing projects. I admired her on the spot, and looked forward to seeing her again.

    Over the next month, I got to know Reesa and her family more (as well as honing my poker skills). On March 15th, I was hit by a car. Two days later, Reesa was finally diagnosed with breast cancer. I was so frustrated to be undergoing my own convalescence, and unable to help her recover from the mastectomy. But gradually, we both recovered. It wasn’t long before poker nights resumed. A few months after that, Reesa formed a writing group, which I readily joined. She became an influence on my work, my process, and she was one of my biggest cheerleaders. And on March 15th of 2011, we both celebrated a year of surviving our respective tragedies.

    In December of 2010, Reesa announced that she was pregnant. Although she’d had concerns about having a baby less than a year after having the mastectomy, her doctors told her it was perfectly fine. They were wrong. When Iliana was born on March 30, 2011, there were tumors in Reesa’s other breast, her hip, spine, lungs, and liver.

    Reesa had beaten cancer before, and this time, she had an infant daughter to live for. She spent 2011 fighting, fighting, and fighting some more. There was radiation, chemo, more radiation, surgery, and then more chemo. Never once did she think she would lose this fight. And even though she was considered terminally ill, most of us thought she would win, too. It was impossible to think that she wouldn’t.

    But in October of 2011, things went downhill. Blood clots, rampant infections, kidney failure. Just before Christmas, we learned that the tumors in her lungs and liver were growing again. Not good news. Still, when I visited her on New Year’s Day, the dialysis treatments were working and her doctor said she was getting stronger. I left the hospital full of hope. It was the last time I saw her.

    During the New Year’s Day visit, she spent much of the time sleeping. I wrote her a note in a notebook she kept near the bed. When it was time for me to leave, she apologized for having fallen asleep. I told her it was okay. I said, “I’m grateful for any time I spend with you.”

    Those were the last words I said to her.

    She died yesterday afternoon. The dialysis stopped working, and her body gave up.

    I wish I’d gone to see her one more time. That I’d had the chance for a proper goodbye. But I suppose that, as far as last words go, the ones I said to her on New Year’s sufficed.